Reflection on Fulfillment: Walking Through Life’s Uncertainty with Faith
As an African American woman and single mother, I often find myself reflecting on life—not just the joys and triumphs but the struggles, heartbreaks, and unexpected detours. Fulfillment is a complex, elusive thing. Some people seem to hold it easily in their grasp, while others, like myself, must fight through life’s storms to even catch a glimpse of it. And while I keep pushing forward, there are days when the longing feels overwhelming, eating away at my soul and leaving me questioning the path I’m on.
In a perfect world, my life might have been entirely different. I imagine growing up surrounded by love, laughter, music, art, and creativity. I would have been a daddy’s girl, cherished and nurtured. I’d have gone to college, maybe an Ivy League school or an HBCU, pledged a sorority, and married an amazing man who would have become my partner in life’s journey. Together, we’d have raised children who thrived in the arts, music, and theater, finding success and fulfillment in their own unique ways.
In that perfect world, I would have lived on acres of land, painting, publishing books, and making music. Friends would have filled my life with joy and companionship. My days would have been a tapestry of love, creativity, and meaning. But life is rarely perfect. Instead, it’s often a bumpy, lonely, and stormy road. The reality is that some of us can work endlessly hard and still feel as though we fall short. For those of us who grew up without privilege, the journey to fulfillment can feel even harder. The weight of systemic barriers, generational trauma, and the constant struggle to make ends meet can cloud even the brightest dreams.
That longing is tough. It lingers in your heart, gnawing at the edges of your soul. It whispers in the quiet moments, reminding you of all the things you’ve wanted but couldn’t have, all the opportunities you couldn’t provide for yourself or your children. My daughter, for example, is naturally gifted in acting. She lights up a room when she steps into character, and her passion for the craft is unmistakable. Yet, as her mother, I didn’t have the money to nurture and develop that gift further. Instead, she faced a world that wasn’t kind to her—a world where white people broke her spirit, tore her down, and made her feel like she was nothing. Watching her struggle, knowing that her talents could have blossomed in a different environment, is a pain that stays with me.
Trauma has a way of compounding life’s challenges. It doesn’t just mark the moment it occurs—it lingers, weaving its way into the fabric of your life. Trauma can steer people off course, away from their natural gifts and abilities. It can plant seeds of self-doubt, fear, and shame that grow into barriers, making it harder to see or pursue what once felt like destiny. For my daughter, the trauma she’s endured has shaken her confidence, making her question her worth and whether she can truly succeed in the world of acting. For myself, the traumas of my past sometimes feel like chains, holding me back from fully embracing the person I want to be.
The effects of trauma are not just emotional; they are physical and mental, too. They can rob you of your ability to dream, to imagine a life beyond survival. They can cause you to turn inward, to mistrust others, to close yourself off from opportunities that might otherwise have seemed promising. The mind adapts to protect itself from further pain, but in doing so, it often limits the ability to thrive. How many gifts are left untapped because trauma redirected someone’s path? How many dreams are abandoned because the weight of past hurts feels too heavy to carry?
Yet, in the midst of these challenges, I am reminded that trauma doesn’t have to be the end of the story. While it can redirect our paths, it doesn’t erase our potential. Healing is possible, though it takes time, effort, and a lot of grace. I believe that even in the darkest moments, there is a flicker of hope—a reminder that we are more than what has happened to us. For my daughter and me, that hope is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what encourages me to believe in her talents and to remind her that her worth is not defined by the opinions of others but by the light that shines from within her.
Fulfillment may feel distant at times, but I hold onto the belief that God has a purpose for our lives. Even when the road is hard, even when the longing feels unbearable, I trust that He is working all things together for our good. Trauma may have shaken us, but it hasn’t destroyed us. And as long as we have breath, we have the power to rise, to heal, and to reclaim the gifts that are uniquely ours.
Despite the challenges and the weight of unfulfilled dreams, I’ve come to realize that much of what holds us back isn’t just personal—it’s deeply rooted in the systems around us. The barriers we face aren’t always of our own making; they are often tied to larger societal structures that were never designed for people like us to thrive. To truly understand why fulfillment feels so out of reach for many, we must confront the concept of privilege and how it shapes the opportunities—or lack thereof—available to us. This understanding is crucial to breaking free from the cycles that keep so many of us stuck.
Understanding Privilege and Its Impact
Privilege is a word that carries weight, especially in the context of race and systemic inequality. At its core, privilege refers to unearned advantages that individuals or groups have by virtue of characteristics they were born with, such as race, gender, socioeconomic status, or ability. While privilege can manifest in many forms, white privilege is a particularly pervasive and insidious type because it is deeply entrenched in systemic structures and cultural norms that favor white people over others. White privilege often operates invisibly, granting benefits that many may not even recognize or acknowledge.
What is Privilege?
Privilege, in general, refers to the societal advantages that individuals or groups possess due to circumstances beyond their control. These advantages can arise from various factors, including:
Economic Class: Being born into a financially stable family often means access to better education, healthcare, and career opportunities.
Gender: Men may navigate certain spaces with fewer safety concerns or societal expectations than women.
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual individuals often avoid the discrimination and legal battles faced by LGBTQ+ individuals.
Physical Ability: Able-bodied individuals may not have to consider accessibility barriers in daily life.
Citizenship: Being a citizen of a particular country often affords rights and protections unavailable to immigrants or refugees.
Privilege in these areas does not mean that life is free of challenges; rather, it means that the challenges are not compounded by additional barriers related to one's identity. For example, a financially stable person may face hardships, but they are less likely to experience housing or food insecurity compared to someone living in poverty.
What Sets White Privilege Apart?
While privilege encompasses a broad spectrum of advantages, white privilege is specific to racial inequality. It is the systemic and institutional favoritism that white individuals experience in societies historically shaped by colonialism, slavery, and segregation. White privilege goes beyond personal interactions and into the foundations of societal structures—education, law enforcement, housing, healthcare, and employment.
Unlike general privilege, which can stem from multiple factors, white privilege is uniquely tied to the history of racism and the construction of race as a means of oppression. For example:
Institutional Power: White privilege is reinforced by institutions that were created by and for white people. These institutions often prioritize white perspectives and perpetuate white dominance, even when policies seem neutral on the surface.
Presumption of Innocence: White individuals are often afforded the benefit of the doubt in situations where people of color face suspicion, discrimination, or violence. For example, white privilege can mean being less likely to be stopped by the police or more likely to receive lenient treatment in the judicial system.
Cultural Norms: White privilege includes the normalization of white culture as the default. This might manifest in education systems that prioritize Eurocentric histories and perspectives or in beauty standards that favor white features.
The Historical Roots of White Privilege
To understand white privilege, we must examine its historical roots. White privilege did not arise spontaneously; it is the result of centuries of systemic efforts to suppress, exploit, and marginalize nonwhite communities. Events like the Atlanta Race Massacre of 1906, the Forsyth County Displacement of 1912, the devastation of Black Wall Street in 1921, and the erasure of Tent City in Eugene, Oregon, are stark reminders of how white supremacy violently enforced racial hierarchies.
Atlanta Race Massacre (1906): White mobs attacked Black individuals, businesses, and homes, destroying wealth and stability in Black communities.
Forsyth County Displacement (1912): Terror campaigns forced over 1,000 Black residents to flee, leaving behind homes and generational wealth.
Black Wall Street (1921): One of the most prosperous Black communities in the U.S. was decimated by white supremacists, leaving thousands homeless and erasing decades of progress.
Tent City (1940s-1952): A vibrant Black community in Oregon was displaced to make way for infrastructure projects, leaving many families homeless.
While these incidents are just a few examples and by no means the only ones in history, they not only devastated the communities directly involved but also sent ripples through generations, disrupting the ability of Black families to accumulate wealth, establish stability, and pursue fulfillment. White privilege, in this context, is not just about individual advantages but about systemic barriers deliberately placed to maintain racial inequality.
The Persistent Impact of White Privilege
White privilege continues to manifest today in both overt and subtle ways. Consider disparities in home ownership, employment opportunities, or even representation in media. A white individual might not consciously feel privileged, but the absence of barriers—such as being denied a loan based on race or being overlooked for a job due to a racially “ethnic” name—is itself a privilege.
For Black individuals and other people of color, the road to achievement often requires overcoming obstacles that white individuals do not face. While privilege in general can provide a leg up in life, white privilege is unique in its historical and institutional backing. It perpetuates a society where white people are positioned as the norm, and everyone else is expected to adjust, assimilate, or overcome.
Why Recognizing White Privilege Matters
Acknowledging white privilege is not about inducing guilt or shame in those who benefit from it. Rather, it’s about fostering awareness of how systemic inequality operates and finding ways to dismantle it. It requires recognizing that privilege is not earned but inherited, and with that recognition comes the responsibility to challenge injustice.
Understanding the difference between privilege and white privilege is crucial to building a more equitable society. Privilege, in its many forms, is a product of circumstances that can create disparities. White privilege, however, is tied to a history of racial oppression that continues to shape societal structures and opportunities today. Addressing this requires intentional efforts to unlearn biases, uplift marginalized voices, and create systems that are truly inclusive.
By acknowledging privilege—both in general and white privilege specifically—we can begin to dismantle the barriers that hold so many back and work toward a society where fulfillment is not a luxury reserved for a few but a possibility for all.
Moving Forward with Faith and Resilience
Despite all this, I hold onto my faith. Life’s storms may rage, and the path may feel uncertain, but I trust that God has a plan for our lives—one that is for our ultimate good, even when it doesn’t align with our own desires or expectations. The journey may be rocky, lonely, and filled with setbacks, but God walks with us every step of the way, offering His strength and guidance.
I am reminded of the powerful promise in Jeremiah 29:11:“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Even when life feels deeply unfair, when the weight of systemic oppression and personal struggles feels too much to bear, I find comfort in knowing that God is in control. He sees what we cannot see, and His plans are greater than anything we could imagine. In those moments of uncertainty, I lean into Proverbs 3:5-6:“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
In moments of despair, when I feel like giving up, I am lifted by the assurance of Isaiah 41:10:“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
But perhaps the most beautiful reminder of God’s love for us is found in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
This verse reminds us of the ultimate sacrifice God made so that we might have a relationship with Him. If you haven’t yet accepted Jesus into your heart, know that it’s never too late to turn to Him. He loves you, He sees you, and He wants to walk with you through every trial, every triumph, and every moment in between.
If you’re ready to take that step, here’s a prayer you can say:
Heavenly Father,
I come before You today with an open heart, humbled by Your grace and mercy. I recognize that I am a sinner in need of Your forgiveness and salvation. Thank You for loving me so deeply that You sent Your only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins, offering me the gift of eternal life. I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I invite Him into my heart and my life to lead me in Your ways.
Father, I ask that You help me to live in a way that honors You. Teach me to trust fully in Your plan for my life, even when the path is uncertain. Surround me with Your presence, and guide my steps so that I may walk in righteousness.
Lord, in a world filled with confusion and false teachings, I ask for discernment. Grant me the wisdom to distinguish between truth and deception, and protect me from those who seek to lead me astray. Fill me with Your wisdom, knowledge, and understanding so that I may know Your will and align my life with Your Word.
I humbly ask that You place Your angels around me for protection and guidance—warring angels to fight on my behalf, ministering angels to comfort and strengthen me, guardian angels to watch over me and my loved ones, and messengering angels to deliver Your Word and Your will into my life. May they shield me from harm and guide me along the path You have set before me.
Thank You, Lord, for Your unfailing love and for always being near. I seal this prayer in the precious blood of Jesus, declaring victory over all that seeks to harm me.
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
No matter what you’ve been through or where you are in life, God is waiting for you with open arms. His love is steadfast, and His grace is sufficient for every trial we face. When we trust in Him, we can move forward with faith and resilience, knowing that we are never alone.
A Call to Hope
Fulfillment may look different for each of us. It might not always come in grand moments or big achievements. Often, it shows up in the form of small victories, quiet joys, or simply the strength to keep going when the road gets hard. For me, fulfillment is found in my children’s smiles, in the act of creating something meaningful, and in my unwavering faith. It’s in knowing that, despite the challenges, I am part of a legacy of resilience and strength—a legacy that generations before me fought to build, and one that I strive to pass on to my children.
Life isn’t easy, and there are times when the weight of our struggles feels too much to bear. But no matter how dark it gets, there is always hope. To anyone reading this, I want you to remember: your life has value. Your dreams matter. Your struggles are seen. You are not alone in this journey. God has a purpose for you, even if you can’t see it right now. Keep trusting, keep fighting, and keep believing. God is not finished with you yet.
If you ever feel overwhelmed, it’s important to know that help is available. You don’t have to face life’s challenges alone. Sometimes, talking to someone who understands can make all the difference. Below are some national helplines in the United States that offer support:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)Available 24/7 to provide free, confidential support.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741Free, 24/7 support for those in crisis.
Teen Line: 1-800-852-8336 or text TEEN to 839863A confidential hotline for teenagers, available from 6 pm to 10 pm PST.
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678Lifeline for LGBTQ+ youth, available 24/7.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)Support for those experiencing abuse or violence.
Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are loved, and there are people who care about you and want to see you thrive. Life may throw its hardest battles your way, but with faith, hope, and the support of those who care, you can overcome anything.
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