Child Marriage in the U.S.: Legal Loopholes, Lifelong Wounds, and the Hope That Still Lives

Child Marriage in the U.S.: Legal Loopholes, Lifelong Wounds, and the Hope That Still Lives

This isn’t just a story about laws. It’s a story about lost childhoods, stolen innocence, and legal systems that leave kids to pick up the pieces alone. This is about the children who were forced to act like adults before they even had a chance to grow up.

This is about Courtney Stodden.

This is about the thousands of kids still living this nightmare right now.

This is about what happens when the system fails—and why we can’t stay silent about it anymore.

Courtney’s Story: A Child Bride in Plain Sight

At 16 years old, Courtney Stodden married 50-year-old actor Doug Hutchison. She lived in Ocean Shores, Washington. And yes—it was legal. All it took was her parents’ permission.

Doug had only known her for six months before deciding she should be his wife. At 16, she didn’t know how to write a check. She didn’t get her driver’s license until she was 28. But she was expected to be a wife, a public figure, and a grown woman overnight.

The media didn’t protect her. They mocked her. Paparazzi hounded her, and celebrities labeled her instead of questioning the adults around her. No one asked why a grown man would marry a teenager. Instead, the world asked why a teenager said yes.

Courtney has since spoken out about her experience—how she was thrown into the spotlight, constantly performing, constantly trying to hold it together. She has said that at 16, she thought she knew what she was doing. But now, at 30, she knows better. She says she wishes she could go back in time, burst into that room, and hug her younger self tight.

Her story isn’t just about trauma—it’s about survival. And now, healing.

Courtney eventually broke away from that marriage after almost 10 years. She now runs a nonprofit dedicated to helping other young people who have been forced into marriage or unsafe situations. She turned her pain into purpose.

🔗 The Courtney Stodden Foundation (https://www.courtneystodden.com/foundation) is dedicated to advocacy, education, and support for youth who have faced child marriage or exploitation.

How Is This Still Legal?

Let’s be clear: what happened to Courtney was legal because laws in this country still allow children to marry under certain conditions. In 37 states, minors can be legally married—often with just a parent’s signature. Sometimes, even younger than 16.

Here’s the breakdown:

🟥 States with no minimum marriage age (with parent or judicial approval):

• California

• Mississippi

• New Mexico

These are states where the law does not set a clear minimum age at all. That means with the right approvals, a child—even as young as 12 or 13—can legally be married.

🟠 States where only parental consent is required (no court review):

• California

• Mississippi

This opens dangerous loopholes. If the parent is part of the problem—or feels pressured themselves—the child may be left without protection.

⚠️ States that allow minors to marry if they are pregnant or have given birth:

• North Carolina

• Missouri

• Kentucky

• Oklahoma

• Wisconsin

This policy turns pregnancy into a legal excuse for early marriage—when it should be a red flag that someone needs protection and support.

What If the Older Partner Is an Adult? Or a Family Member?

These laws get even more concerning when you consider situations involving large age gaps—or abuse within the home.

Most states have age gap restrictions to try to prevent adults from marrying minors. For example:

• Tennessee allows a 17-year-old to marry—but only if the partner is no more than four years older.

• Kentucky and Missouri ban marriage if one person is over 21 and the other is under 18.

But not every state has this protection.

In rare, extreme situations—like if a family member is responsible for a minor’s pregnancy—the law should intervene immediately. Marriage cannot and should not be used to disguise harm or cover up what should be a criminal investigation. In those cases, child welfare services would usually be involved. Still, with limited oversight in some states, there are gaps where abuse can be hidden behind legal paperwork.

Roe v. Wade and the New Crisis for Girls

With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, some states that ban or limit abortion also allow minors to marry if they’re pregnant. That means a young girl—sometimes just 14—could be denied access to reproductive care and legally married off to the person responsible for her pregnancy.

This isn't protecting children. It's trapping them.

We can’t say we care about children and then turn around and sign them into lifelong trauma because they got pregnant too young. We can’t say we value youth and then ignore the systems that fail them.

Who’s Doing It Right?

Only five states have taken the bold and necessary step to ban child marriage entirely, with no exceptions:

✅ Delaware

✅ New Jersey

✅ Pennsylvania

✅ Minnesota

✅ Rhode Island

These are the states saying: Marriage can wait. Childhood can’t.

If You're a Kid Reading This… Please Hear Me

If you're reading this and you’re young, and you're in something you didn’t ask for…If adults are saying it's love but you feel trapped…If your situation feels heavy and dark and lonely…

Please know:

🌱 You are not the mistake.

🌱 You are not too late to heal.

🌱 You are not alone.

You are not crazy for feeling overwhelmed. You are not dramatic for wanting to leave. And you are not weak if you’re struggling with depression. What’s happening to you is not your fault.

You deserve love that doesn’t require you to lose yourself. You deserve safety. You deserve a future.

Where You Can Get Help

• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/) – 1-800-422-4453 (confidential, 24/7)

• RAINN – Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (https://www.rainn.org/) – 1-800-656-HOPE

• Unchained At Last (https://www.unchainedatlast.org/) – Fighting to end forced and child marriages in the U.S.

• The Courtney Stodden Foundation (https://www.courtneystodden.com/foundation) – Advocacy and healing for survivors of child marriage and abuse

Living With the Thorn in Your Side

The name of this blog—Circumstantial Depression—comes from that place so many of us have lived in. That ache that builds when your life has been shaped by things you couldn’t control. When the pain isn’t because of a chemical imbalance but because of what the world has done to you.

Child marriage is a thorn. Abuse is a thorn. Being unseen is a thorn.

But here’s the truth:

🌸 Even with a thorn in your side, you can still bloom.

🌸 Even with pain in your past, you can still heal.

🌸 You may carry scars, but you are still whole.

To the survivors, the fighters, and the kids still stuck in silence:

You are the reason I wrote this. You are why I won’t stop writing.