Marry Me. Love Is Blind. The Bachelor. Married At First Site. Enchanted. Love Island. Flirty Dancing. Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella. The Bachelorette.
I sit here watching this movie called "Marry Me". I think about how I, as a black woman will be 40 years old this year. Most of these so-called dating TV shows that I have seen on TV show black woman as u desirable and unwanted. I think about the fact that I am a nontraditional person who has been through a lot. I still want to be loved. I still want to be married.
Everyone says not to get married until you're ready, but I don't want to die alone. Is anyone ever truly ready to get married? I dream about being married. I have been since I was a kid. I knew early on that I wanted to be a mother, a wife, someone's companion.....but life had other plans and generational wealth never flowed my way, no matter how hard I worked for it. Am I really going to die alone?
I watch this movie and love the idea of spending the rest of my life with someone. Marriage is work. There are some people who have tried it several times. However, realistically, as a black woman, i know that we are amongst the last ones chosen.
For me, I want someone who I can fall in love with, someone who will love me for me, someone who won't purposefully hurt me.
In life, we can have many obstacles and ups and downs. That doesn't make us unlovable or undesirable despite what TV shows us. Then there are those TV shows and movies that give us hope, that make us believe that we wfind one love.
With Circumstantial Depression, getting older becomes harder every year. Constantly striving to achieve my version of success...get off of Section 8, pay off my student loans, be steady in a career, get married, have kids. It gets lonely, very lonely. Then one day you wake up and wonder what happened to your life. You work so hard just to get nowhere. You cry, but you keep fighting because of hope.
I love Jennifer Lopez's new song "On My Way". It describes how everything you go through in life leads you to the love of your life. Someday I truly hope I can find my soul mate that's not perfect, but is perfect for me. Though, if I ever do die alone in the future, I hope this blog helps someone else find theirs.
#marryme #onmyway #soulmate #seekinglove #hopelessromantic #looking4loveinallthewrongplaces #seekingloveinallthewrongplaces #blacklove #blacklovestillexists
Comments